Many people who know me know that I’m a huge fan of Taylor Swift’s music. One of my favorite songs of hers is called “Invisible String.” It is one of those songs that I would put on a loop and just listen to, again and again and again. I wanted to just absorb the concepts that she was conveying. There was something about the COVID-19 time that lent itself to reminiscing and reflecting. The song mainly deals with the idea of fate as Swift sings, “Isn’t it just so pretty to think that all along there was some invisible string tying you to me.” She describes how all her life, she has been taking steps towards this person, unbeknownst to her. The idea that every step is a step forward (despite what it may feel like) has been an idea that I keep circling back to during my time at North. 

It’s difficult to talk about my high school experience without mentioning COVID, yet at the same time, I almost want to forget and move on– putting it all in the past. However, I started to look at the events of my life with this new perspective. I want to believe that it all happened for a reason and that each event was a step toward who I am meant to be. Had school not shut down in March of my freshman year, I wouldn’t have begun some of the most important friendships that I’ve ever had. Somehow, being apart forced us to reach out and connect in different ways– ways that strengthened our friendship and gave me a support system that I struggle to accept will be scattered throughout the country come next fall. Looking back now, I imagine myself walking along a path with this invisible string in hand, just hoping that it will lead me somewhere. 

This string has taken me all over the North community: the badminton team, orchestra, AP classes and more. I’ve met so many wonderful people in these places and I’ve made so many memories. 

Then there is Stargazer. Being a part of Stargazer has never felt like a risky or blind step. I’ve always felt sure-footed and supported by the familiarity of the string of my life. That’s not to say that I’ve always been confident–there have surely been wobbly steps. I still remember how nervous I was during my first ever Stargazer meeting where I barely said a word, or how incredibly scared I was for my first interview to the point where I had typed out every possible question that I could ask. Even as I was a junior and senior, there were still times when I was pushed out of my comfort zone. I had to lead meetings and make decisions for the group, and that was a daunting task at first. I just had to trust that those scary moments were all a part of the plan. Had I not been pushed out of my comfort zone, I’d still be the extremely nervous freshman that I was four years ago. I wouldn’t have developed as a person nearly as much as I did without these small risks.

I couldn’t tell you what drew me to Stargazer back in freshman year, but besides growing as a person, I’ve also loved being a part of such a fun and inspiring group of people. Never have I laughed as much as I do on Monday afternoons. All of the members of Stargazer are so talented, and it inspires me and has made me proud to lead them this past year. 

So, I really don’t know what brought me to Stargazer. It must have just been a blind step in the hopes that it would lead somewhere. And it did. I will always be grateful for the community that I found with Stargazer. 

It’s hard now not to feel like my next step forward is a step away from everything good. I’m leaving these great communities, these friends and these mentors who have seen me through so much. It feels like I now enter a maze, following a string I cannot even see. Blindly taking steps in a direction that I can only trust is the right one. But I know that string leads somewhere, and I’ve learned to trust that these are steps forward.