The term “ghosting” is defined by Oxford Languages as “the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.” In Gen Z, 84% have been ghosted in a romantic relationship. When asking around, it is easy to find someone who has been ghosted or has ghosted someone for one reason or another. This behavior is everywhere, but why? Simply put, Gen Z simply does not need closure as badly as past generations. Gen Z has been raised in a very different world than past generations. Between technology and social media being the norm, and the pandemic causing most communications to be online, there is a very different mindset adopted by Gen Z.
The pandemic also shifted the mindset of a lot of Gen Z. There was a lot of uncertainty at this time, which became a normalized ideal. Nobody knew when schools would open, when they would be able to see friends again, or anything about the outside world. The acceptance of uncertainty translated to relationships. Without face-to-face interaction, relationships shifted to being online. Not everyone followed the trend of moving online, which led to friendships dissolving based on lack of communication.
However, for those who did migrate online, social media is a daily part of life. This includes 94% of Gen Z. On social media, users interact with hundreds if not thousands of other users every day. This subtly gives Gen Z the illusion of unlimited possibilities. Gen Z is able to interact with people from all over the world, all different ages and people with completely different viewpoints. There are so many options and so many people to form relationships with. Social media provides a place to find communities who are interested in the same topics, so it is easy to start a conversation with anyone that can quickly transform into a connection, but those connections can die out just as quickly.
Gen Z also has a heightened sense for “red flags.” In early 2024, there was a trend on TikTok where people would list “icks” that if a romantic partner did them, the other person would leave. These ranged from things like “having a bad credit score” to “laughing too hard.” While it is reasonable to have things to avoid in a partner, “icks” range from completely abnormal situations to daily tasks.
“Red flags” also trended on TikTok, specifically in a trend where people would record themselves with a filter named “My Red Flags.” Examples from the filter include “Clingy,” “Single” and “Forgets Everything.” Similarly, people on TikTok came up with “theories” like “the three-month rule,” which states that once someone has been in a relationship for three months, they should know if they want to spend the rest of their life with that person. If they are not sure by that time, the answer is ending the relationship. Other trends like “micro-cheating” have also spread. “Micro-cheating” refers to small behaviors that betray your partner’s trust. A common example of “Micro-cheating” given by multiple TikTok users is giving your number to a stranger. Trends like these often create insecurities in Gen Z’s relationships, often leaving them wondering if their partner has too many red flags or is “Micro-cheating” on them anytime they leave the house.
Due to a lot of relationships being online, there is not as much of a genuine connection between the partners in the relationship. Even if the relationship is not online, the familiarity of online connections infects the perception of in-person interactions, as well. It becomes easy to block people when the effects do not seem that serious, and ghosting someone is easy when all you need to do is hit the block button. Gen Z was also taught to end a relationship at any red flag or “ick.” If a partner starts displaying any behavior that is considered negative, it may feel like the only option is to break up. Going through a breakup is hard, and ghosting can often seem like the better alternative to Gen Z. In order to preserve their partners feelings, but primarily their own, they ghost.
Gen Z has built a culture that seems in a rush to find the “perfect” partner and enjoy the picturesque life that influencers have built. There are so many people who post their lives online showcasing the best of their lives and hiding the worst. When an influencer’s boyfriend gets her flowers, the response of Gen Z is to not be happy for the influencer, but to instead wonder why their partner isn’t buying them flowers. The dependence on social media has made Gen Z more observant to others, yet more self absorbed than ever. Whenever anything happens, they immediately apply it to themselves. There is no desire to live a life that isn’t pretty and perfect like the influencers they see. Part of this life is a relationship like the ones they see. When a relationship doesn’t meet their standards, the impulse is to cut and run, and the most efficient way to do this is by ghosting.
Gen Z doesn’t need closure as much as past generations because they have been forced to form online relationships. The dependency on the internet and social media has warped the perspective of Gen Z. There are fewer genuine connections formed by Gen Z, and these connections are easier to end because they have been taught to assume the worst of any negative behavior. Icks, red flags, the three-month rule and micro-cheating have all caused insecurities in any relationships formed by Gen Z. All of these factors have led to the prevalence of ghosting in Gen Z, and the fact Gen Z does not need closure.
