Brianna DeWert

French teacher Jennifer Goss grieves Duo.

This article was part of Stargazer’s March 28, 2025 satire print issue. Satire serves as an ironic or sarcastic commentary to draw attention to current issues and events. While quite humorous, stylistically competent, and perhaps based on real events, the stories in this issue are false.

Duo the Owl was born on June 19, 2012, and his death was recently confirmed last month at approximately 5:47 p.m. The thing Duo loved more than Duolingo was seeing his learners at North succeed, for he was willing to go to any extent for them to do their lessons. He was never shy about checking in on users, guilt-tripping them or taking matters into his own wings with unique methods to get his point across. Duo was very persistent and affected many children’s lives in interesting ways. Additionally, Duo became a preppy queen on Roblox, transformed into a Squid Game guard promoting “Korean or Get Eaten” and had his own “Duolingo on Ice” show with his hit song “Spanish or Vanish.” Duo was known for participating in TikTok trends, being updated on the latest styles like slaying in a bikini or getting a mullet and confessing his love for Dua Lipa. Just as that box-shaped Cybertruck stole him from this life, Duo too stole our hearts and our children when they did not complete their lesson. Along with his friends like Lily, Zari, Falstaff and Oscar, we celebrate Duo’s extraordinary life on Earth by doing our lessons in memory of him, knowing that he is right here looking up at us.